Getting Organic

Me at 25...not very organic...I don't think I even knew what organic was

My non organic self and my I don't care attitude

I'm so addicted to coffee I choose to paint about it

If you are a follower of this blog or know me at all you are well aware I am not the most calm person. I am admittedly neurotic and stressed out. I have accepted this and woven it into my personality. Until recently I fully believed it served me well (see above photos for proof), but I am slowly changing my ways. It is a difficult process and I am determined to make it happen. 

There was a moment a few weeks ago when I was walking down the street and had a thought, "My neck could most likely break in 2 right now and I would hear a loud crack". Beyond that I had heart palpitations, insomnia, and I think I was unquestionably irritable. Months prior to this a client of mine suggested Frank Lipman's book, Spent, but at the time I felt I was too busy to add another book to my growing "To do list". When the neck thing happened I decided to check it out of the library and I quickly soaked up Dr. Lipman's words. He hit on many of my ailments and by changing my diet and a few other things I would be cured. I also was very drawn to his process of slowly eliminating and then adding.

Of course as we all know this is always easier said than done. My anxiety over the past month was at an all time high and I knew I needed to do something or I would soon be found curled into a ball under the kitchen sink so I began to eliminate the toxic and add in the positive. I have to say it is a difficult plan at first, time consuming, expensive if this is far from the way you are use to living, and there is withdrawal (lot's and lot's of withdrawal). But...I felt an immediate change. The physical affects of my anxiety were gone. Mentally I still felt the stress but my body did not hold it the same way. 

So the gist of his work is that we should eat whole grown foods and get rid of all the processed foods. Shop on the outside of the supermarket and if the food comes in a box or can or has more than 5 ingredients then it should no longer have a place at your dinner table. Sounds easy in theory but in practice it has become a bit of a struggle. Add into that mix a toddler and one mother who does not have a talent for cooking and has a strong taste for coffee. Oh, did I mention NO CAFFEINE!!! WHAT??!! Now again, I need to remind those who may not know me that this is a problem. Coffee is my vice. It is what makes me happy. I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs but I do drink coffee and lots of it. So I made a compromise and allowed myself 1 cup of home made coffee each morning. Maybe eventually I will also get rid of that. I also am trying to cook. Did I mention my little apartment in this grand city does not have an oven. So obviously a microwave is out since this is about whole natural foods. I am learning to cook on my 2 burner stove top. So far I have mastered rice. Oh, and soup. And rice with soup or soup with rice. I am in the process of finding recipes. Soon I will also have a recipe page on this blog...so any favorite non dairy, non sugar, non wheat recipes feel free to send them my way.

There are actually lots of options but you do need to cook. This is not the city slicker's diet. I won't lie we are consuming so many eggs in my home right now that it may be cheaper to invest in a hen soon. Soon I will get it together to try a recipe and of course post it here. It isn't that I hate to cook, but it takes an awful lot of preparation, ingredients and time, which just is not a priority now. It will be soon when I can't fathom another egg, rice dish or soup. 

Oh and did I mention there is a lifestyle change as well. This part I secretly like. He would like us to limit technology. I got rid of my television a year or so ago so that was not a big deal. I also have begun to cut back on the computer and phone at night. I no longer am very news savvy and really should have a plan in case of evacuation because I would never know. I am reading more and it has helped me to relax. I also am suppose to meditate and do yoga. Both of which I know are amazing for mental health and yet I have only been able to to this twice since the beginning of my program 3 weeks ago, but as I mentioned I am going slow. 

So here is the Lipman breakdown.....

No

- Dairy (I do allow myself a yogurt in the morning with my coffee...because I am a rebel)

- Wheat/gluten....that's right folks unless you find a recipe and make it yourself without wheat there is no bread or pasta on this plan

- Processed foods....slowly we have weened ourselves from the frozen comfort food of Trader Joes and have walked across the street to the aisles of WholeFoods

- Caffeine (tea, coffee, soda etc)

Yes

- Whole grains....brown rice and other grains I can't pronounce as well as steel oats

- Fruit

- Vegetables

- Almond milk (Silk makes a great one now)

- Nuts

- Low Mercury Fish

- Organic Local Meat

Summer's Day Winding Down

Well, after all my bickering this summer I finally was able to escape the city and have a proper weekend away. Isa and I were invited to share in the beautiful wedding of a dear friend/sister. It was an amazing time and reminded me to relax and enjoy life. 

Congratulations A and B! We miss you already.

Coney Island

At the start of the summer I had a list of all the places I wanted to take Isa, and God help me one of them was Coney Island. There is just something about this gritty little place that just needs to be a part of our summer plans. So a week ago we finally made it there. It was not the perfect beach day, but Isa didn't seem to mind. It was so dirty I didn't even want her to touch the water, but again she seemed to love the ocean and all the sand. It was an enormous sandbox to her. We hit all the rides and she learned that you must must must scream as loud as possible on rides...especially the Tilt-a-Whirl and Roller coaster. She seems to have brought that lesson back with her to her normal playground activities. We also hit Ralph's Italian Ice on the boardwalk which was so much better than ice cream. Finally we went to the Aquarium that thankfully has been repaired since my last visit a few years ago. Isa loved it. It was a packed day, and as dirty as it may be it still feels like a summer vacation. If you squint really really hard you can even get a glimpse of the way it use to be in its glory days.

Tentativeness, Transitioning, Transform

August is proving itself to be a testing month full of thoughts and transformations whether I want to deal or not. I have been offered a possible apartment in Brooklyn, which I need to make a decision on this week for the move in date would be September first. It is a large apartment and comes with a roommate and a child. May be ideal and may be a nightmare. I am a creature of habit and crave my isolation. It is not easy for me to relocate or to live with others. I am being tested and not sure which way I will go. Stay tuned.

I also recently decided to watch Crazy Sexy Cancer, my Netflix movie that has been sitting in my apartment for several weeks now. Yes the subject matter is intense. It's about Cancer. However, I took it more as a neurotic control freak (similar to myself) who takes it upon herself to actively respond to a crisis. She immediately changes her life to deal with this awful disease and in turn transforms herself. It was inspiring and thought provoking. It especially made me think about the way I have been living. My diet is a mess and I am way too stressed out but maybe not enjoying each day as I should. I am always grateful but not always present.

Last week was an emotionally trying time for me and I actually felt my body tense to the point where it may actually be able to snap. So this movie came at the perfect time to wake me up. My life is a bit chaotic, and not always in a good way. So I have decided to make some changes. Maybe move to Brooklyn to save money, but definitely make changes in my health. I have started with trying to cut back on the caffeine....I last about 3 hours. Oh well, maybe better tomorrow.

Secondly I am making Isa and I healthier food choices. I am in no way doing this drastically, but as the food in the refrigerator begins to slowly empty I am replacing it with better choices. I am trying to cut dairy and sugar out of our diet and add more grains and vegetables. I do not have the time or attention span to do things the "right" way or stick with any macrobiotic or whole living program. I am just doing what I can to actively be a healthier and lass stressed person. I am cutting back on the computer and adding yoga into my routine. Well, OK so I did yoga once this week, but that is better than I have been doing.

Next week I get a blender and will begin my new avocado smoothies for breakfast to replace my yogurt. Green juice in the afternoon to replace my coffee. Yoga at night to replace my Internet/movie time. Wish me luck.

The Blog

Blogging has become such a funny hobby of mine. I am a great collector of hobbies. I think when I first thought of starting a Blog it was to market my fitness life. It makes sense since my main money maker is fitness, and yet when I began to write it took on a life of its own. It became more personal and I liked where it was going. It is of course still linked to my website but unless you understand the subtlety of my "Method" or my work you may miss the connection. I love fitness and anatomy and one day I will actually get it together to post those articles and information I have in my computer, but really I don't think we need another website with exercises and information on how to get skinny and fit. Do we need another Blog written by a single mom-probably not. So what is it that I am doing Sometimes I wonder myself, but I know it all makes sense. 

In the spirals and circles of thoughts and Universal energy it makes sense. My professor Art Robbins use to always talk about how he spoke in circles and I actually understood what he meant. It frustrated many but I go it because I process, think, write, and exist in the spirals and circles of life. Things are not always linear and do not always make sense. I guess that is an attraction I have to Pilates. It is based in alignment and fact. For the most part it makes sense. And I think my Method and this blog make sense in that way. Mind, Body, Spirit are connected but it took me a while to completely understand and practice the meaning. One can not exist in balance without the other. The difficulty comes in finding the balance. Balancing a triangle is never easy. 

This blog began as a platform to help others. To highlight the strengths of others. To write about fitness and the body. It has become something else and I am OK with that. It has become a place where I process my own jumbled thoughts. It has also become a place where I get to connect with my dear friend Liz who lives across the pond. For a bit I was contemplating calling it "Dear Liz" but I think it is good to just keep it as it is. It is a place to make sense of life as I know it and also to share with a dear friend the thoughts and events of my life the way we use to share things on a daily basis. It's like a letter or an email but you get to add photos.  So this one is for you Liz.

Summer Nights

I miss this. Late night writing with the window open and a cool breeze coming in. The sound of music coming from my computer (love love Pandora). It is difficult for me to have these late evenings with my work schedule and a child who gets up at 5am most days, and it is something I miss. I have always done my best thinking and found my quiet peace late at night or early in the morning when everyone else is away or asleep and it is just for me. Quiet. I LOVE quiet and being alone. Not in an agoraphobic way or an I hate people way. Just in a quiet peaceful reflective way. It is when I paint and when I write and when I become inspired. I could blame it on college but I think it started way before that. I remember when I was 4 or 5 one night staying up past my parents. Now, I know I had a bedtime and my parents were pretty strict so I have no idea why this particular evening they allowed me to stay up past them but I did. And I remember that it was because I was working on a drawing of a flower and just needed to finish before going to bed (so "Yes" the neurotic artist in me already began long ago). In High School I often began painting late at night and remained there into early hours. I had the best set up. My room was huge and empty and I could open the windows and hear distant cars but mostly just night sounds. It was so calm. I didn't have to think about anyone or anything. During the day it is all business and responsibilities, but at night I can be myself and do my thing. It took me a while to find myself back here, in this place of being alone and completely calm. I don't feel free so much because the responsibilities remain, but for now they are in the distance and I can pretend that the farm air is outside.