Blah Days

Yet another Blah day here in New York City.  The weather is beginning to give hints of the grey winter days to come, and as much as the city is trying to disguise it with premature Christmas decorations it doesn't seem to work.  In fact I think to be reminded of the short distance between now and Christmas and holidays in general is cruel and anxiety producing. So bring on Halloween please, but Santa can stay in the Pole for a bit longer. 

Making the best of these blah cold drizzly days I have forced myself to get out of my warm hole. Last night I was lucky enough to be a guest at the Vanity Fair and Christopher Reeve foundation party hosted by my fabulous friend Francesco Clark (of Clark Botanicals).  He is a true inspiration.  I try to make this site about myself but also about inspiring others to move forward and discover their true strength.  He completely lives true to this.  After an accident left him paralyzed he could easily have crawled into the black hole of self pity, but instead continues to rebel against statistics and disbelievers.  He is seeking and participating in innovative research, but he is also living life as a participant and not as a victim. Last night it was nice to see so many people turn out in support of his work and the work of others in the Christopher Reeve foundation.  

So not only did Francesco make me leave my warm house where I can hide away, but he also made me leave downtown and go uptown to 5th avenue no less. For a while I was thinking that I should begin investigating my alternatives in the dating department.  I should move away from the overeducated artists I'm use to and try out those from the other side of Manhattan (the Uptown crew). I'm thinking now that I just don't think I can do it. I don't think galas and parties are a viable form of entertainment, and I can't attend a charity function as a means to be seen as opposed to a show of support for the cause. Perhaps I can use this as another reason to hide. I may be a bit naive to believe that there truly are men out there with depth and also who have ambition and jobs. I made the mistake before of not trusting my instincts and settling for someone who seemed like they had potential to change into a better person.  I just can't settle again.  I want someone who is already a better person and believes in more than parties and clothes or football and beer. I'm not sure that person exists but am still hoping they do, and of course that they are straight. Hmm. A lot to ask for in these city streets I know. 

So like the weather I too am feeling a bit Blah and discouraged these days. But unlike the city of New York I can't pretend to dress up my feelings with festive decor. Well, except for Halloween of course.  The glitter and feathers are quietly drying on Isa's costume....more to come on that.