As I have touched on before friendship is a tricky thing in a girl's life. I don't know if men have the same need as us females, but like it or not we need to have female companionship in our life. The tricky thing is finding someone we can trust and laugh with that is, let's be honest, like us. I think we all look for mirrors of our self only in friends we want to look like the better version of the self we perceive us to be. Well, at least I do. I tend to collect people that inspire me and who make me reach higher.
In childhood this is easier to do. We tend to befriend those girls that are somehow within the same vicinity as us. In most cases a class or school is involved. As we get older some of these relationships continue and some fall to the side. Of course as we grow even older it becomes increasingly more difficult to maintain relationships and girlfriends. It is nearly impossible to make new friends and takes effort. And sometimes we think maybe the effort is just not worth it. Our life takes over, our routine settles, or personal need for female conversations and fun is pushed deep inside and sadly can disappear.
NYC, while amazing and wonderful, can be a big lonely pit especially for a girl in need of friends. People here change and move more than anywhere else. It is common to move jobs and apartments multiple times in a year. Sometimes I am envious of my childhood girlfriends who continue to reside in my hometown and still see each other regularly. I made it a goal this year to make an active effort to create new friendships while also maintaining the few relationships I still have. I can't say I have been amazing at this. Most of the time I am exhausted or feeling guilty for leaving Isa to go out again in the evening, but I have made the effort.
In childhood this is easier to do. We tend to befriend those girls that are somehow within the same vicinity as us. In most cases a class or school is involved. As we get older some of these relationships continue and some fall to the side. Of course as we grow even older it becomes increasingly more difficult to maintain relationships and girlfriends. It is nearly impossible to make new friends and takes effort. And sometimes we think maybe the effort is just not worth it. Our life takes over, our routine settles, or personal need for female conversations and fun is pushed deep inside and sadly can disappear.
NYC, while amazing and wonderful, can be a big lonely pit especially for a girl in need of friends. People here change and move more than anywhere else. It is common to move jobs and apartments multiple times in a year. Sometimes I am envious of my childhood girlfriends who continue to reside in my hometown and still see each other regularly. I made it a goal this year to make an active effort to create new friendships while also maintaining the few relationships I still have. I can't say I have been amazing at this. Most of the time I am exhausted or feeling guilty for leaving Isa to go out again in the evening, but I have made the effort.
So the best friends I have made in my past have been unexpected. I did not like my best friend in high school when I first met her. I think it was a random event during gym class that changed my mind. She mentioned going to Belgium for the summer. I asked how she was going because I thought it was a great idea. She said it was an exchange program. I immediately signed up and we flew together to Paris at 16, went our separate ways and returned together a few months later speaking fluent French (which I have long since forgotten) and became best friends for years to come. My friend Liz I met through a college friend. She did not go to my school but would visit a lot and we bonded immediately (so much so that our mutual friend disappeared). My friend Liza, I noticed my first day at Pratt. I remember thinking in my head, "She bugs me, but I know we will be friends." It took nearly a year but eventually it happened and she is one of the few people I maintained contact with after school ended. My neighbor and I probably would never have noticed each other if we were not both pregnant at the time. We had our children 3 days apart and they are now the best of friends. So my latest friend is Kate. We met at Easter, during an egg hunt that we both made the effort to bring our children to. It was a brief encounter but we made a huge effort to meet again later. The planning it takes to bring 2 Moms together could solve national conflicts and we deserve a reward for our efforts. It was a needed and inspiring night and proves that, "Yes.", Moms in their 30's can still find like minded and cool women to befriend (stay tuned for more blogging about amazing talented Kate).
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