Yesterday was my birthday. I have this thing about celebrating my birthday...I just prefer it to be me. Over the years having to take care of or depend on other people stresses me out and on my birthday I prefer to take a break from the world. So this year when friends asked what I wanted I was non-committal, which may be annoying to some but to me I just need things open ended. In the end it was an amazing day and evening. I worked my normal schedule from early morning to early evening, however throughout the day my clients and friends stopped by the studio to give gifts and birthday wishes. After work Isa and I met a friend in Central Park and we took out a row boat. I can hold my own on the waters even with tourists seem not to know how to row a boat. Even when Isa decided it was her turn and we frightened a few tourists along the stairs of the Bethesda fountain I was able to get us free. I would like to point out here that, "Yes", my 2.5 year old got us stuck on the stairs of the fountain, but while there and struggling to get us unstuck while also reasoning with my 2.5 year old child why Mommy must use the ore and not her, the many many men standing and watching this situation never once offered a hand. Now this also raises another interesting question because while taking the subway to Central Park from Grand Central with my child strapped to my belly not once did a seated passenger offer a seat but also as said passengers stood to leave the train each proceeded to bump me out of their way. But I am getting sidetracked with my own little thoughts on human decency and manners and the NEED our society has for education in such things. So after a short yet long boat ride we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, my home away from home. It was the first and only place I could think I wanted to spend my birthday. It is literally the one place in NYC that I truly feel like home. I worked there for so long I know it inside and out and I never tire of going there. There is now a installation of bamboo by Doug and Mike Starn and it is a fantastical wonderland of expansions and chaos. Isabella loved it and even created a song to go with it. More friends met me there and we relaxed and had wine while enjoying the peaceful and beautiful evening. Of course, never really drinking, the wine went straight to my head and made for a difficult walk home, but it was all perfect.
It has been a long and trying year but I think I am finally out of the hardest part and finding my footing a gain. I have hopes for the year to come. Mostly that it will continue in a positive way with me finding my truest friends and connections. I think mostly I just hope to continue to maintain the balance I feel now without the struggle and enjoy every moment with my child. Seems easy but I know it is hard to hold on to...I am determined to try.
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